my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
