smell my finger.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
