yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
