i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
