You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
