What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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