things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
