we have pet lesbian snakes
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
