I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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