..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
