it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
