Your tits are I can't wait for
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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