he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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