i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
