if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize