gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Text me some of your sweat
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
