It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
