Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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