Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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