It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
