I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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