Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
