porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
