This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
