I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
