If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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