he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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