I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize