I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
