Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
