I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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