I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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