FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
