Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
