I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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