I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
