Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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