Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
