You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
