So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
