If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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