I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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