Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
