I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
