True but thats because hes a fetus.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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