So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
