We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
