alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize