Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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