shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
