Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize