they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
