Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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