Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
