Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
whose ass print is on the piano?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
