Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
