I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize