Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
