Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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