i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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