Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
